


Cool, Cruel Bullies

by Im_The_Doctor (Bofur1)



Category: House M.D., Lie to Me (TV), Sherlock (TV), The Mentalist
Genre: Arguing, Chatting & Messaging, Fluff and Crack, Geniuses, Multi, POV Third Person Limited, Present Tense, Twitter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-03
Updated: 2014-12-03
Packaged: 2018-02-27 23:51:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 684
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2711264
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bofur1/pseuds/Im_The_Doctor
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Two doctors. Two detectives. Four geniuses. What are the odds that all of them happen to log onto Twitter at the same time?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Cool, Cruel Bullies

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Trista_zevkia](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Trista_zevkia/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Keep Calm and Lie On](https://archiveofourown.org/works/295027) by [Trista_zevkia](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Trista_zevkia/pseuds/Trista_zevkia). 



Whoever this is, talking to him through the screen, he has to admit they have impeccable spelling. Maybe that’s what is making this conversation so infuriating. He had been reluctant about joining Twitter for this exact reason! Why couldn’t everyone else understand?

 _I should never have trusted them_ , he thinks as he studies the innocent profile picture: a small cup of tea that isn’t revealing anything about the person behind it. The username is interesting though, and so is the intelligence of the user’s words. The stranger is currently arguing with two others about the truth of romance. Hoping to squeeze into the conversation, he leans forward and types.

No1Listens

**@Strawberry_Saltwater** _You like tea?_

There is a pause for a moment, as though Strawberry_Saltwater is taken a bit by surprise at the change in subject. At last…

Strawberry_Saltwater

**@No1Listens** _Yes, I do. It’s a hug in a cup._

One of the other two immediately jumps in.

PantsonFire

**@Strawberry_Saltwater** _Are you ugly? Is that why you don’t put your face in the profile?_

Strawberry_Saltwater

**@PantsonFire** _You really want to continue this conversation? I think I know exactly what YOU look like._

Don^t_Bother_Standing

**@PantsonFire @Strawberry_Saltwater** _ZZZZ bored already. I have better conversations with my BFF._

He raises an eyebrow and shoots back:

No1Listens

**@Don^t_Bother_Standing** _Wow, you have a BFF. That’s almost as boring as romance._

 He’s expecting a furious response, a defense of said BFF, but he’s in for a surprise.

Don^t_Bother_Standing

**@No1Listens** _Tell me about it._

That would be an interesting conversation, but he and Don^t_Bother_Standing are interrupted by the other two; the tension in their words is bleeding through the screen at him, furrowing his brow.

PantsonFire

_Really_ , **@Strawberry_Saltwater** , _tell me what I look like!_

Strawberry_Saltwater

**@PantsonFire** _I’m seeing brown or hazel eyes, big and innocent, and bare little feet kicking against Daddy’s big, important office chair._

PantsonFire

**@Strawberry_Saltwater** _Oh, you’re looking at the shiny mirror on the big, important desk right now, aren’t you? Quite twee, you are!_

Don^t_Bother_Standing

_Ha!_ **@PantsonFire** _Knew you were British._

He rather dislikes the way that’s going. Leaning forward with narrowed eyes, he speeds up his nimble fingers in hopes of getting in his say before PantsonFire is set off.

No1Listens

_That doesn’t even matter in this conversation._

Don^t_Bother_Standing

_Brits are morons. The one I know kills someone every time he walks into the room._

Strawberry_Saltwater

_Really?_ **@Don^t_Bother_Standing** _What’s his name?_

Don^t_Bother_Standing

**@Strawberry_Saltwater** _You’re taking me literally? Are YOU British?_

PantsonFire

_Just because I used one British term doesn’t mean I’m British._

No1Listens

**@PantsonFire** _You’re British._

Don^t_Bother_Standing

**@PantsonFire** _You’re British._

Strawberry_Saltwater

**@PantsonFire** _You’re British._

PantsonFire

_Apparently so is_ **No1Listens** _. I saw contempt for_ **Don^t_Bother_Standing** _eight comments ago._

Strawberry_Saltwater

**@PantsonFire** _What are you, a psychic?_

PantsonFire

_Nope, I’m better than that._

Strawberry_Saltwater

_Good. Psychics aren’t real._

Don^t_Bother_Standing

_Not debating it. Debating it._ **@Strawberry_Saltwater** _How would you know?_

Strawberry_Saltwater

_Trust me._

PantsonFire

**@Strawberry_Saltwater** _I don’t think any of us can, with brief answers like that. You’re furious about something at the moment and that’s not usually a man you can trust. Maybe if you put an exclamation point instead of a period, you’d have a better chance._

Don^t_Bother_Standing

_!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!_

PantsonFire

**@Don^t_Bother_Standing** _Well, aren’t you a sad tosser? People really don’t trust you, do they?_

Don^t_Bother_Standing

_They say I’m a bully, but I’m just looking out for the future of humankind!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!_

PantsonFire

_I’m considered a bully too._

Strawberry_Saltwater

_Probably me more than you._

No1Listens

_I’m worse than all of you, trust me._

PantsonFire

_Can never trust a bully, can you?_

He waits for the question to be answered, but apparently all of them are smart enough to know it’s rhetorical. Staring at the blinking cursor, he wonders if he should say something to break through the ice they just sculpted into place. At last deciding against it, he sits back and starts to swivel his chair away from the computer. Before he can bring the lid down, however, one more comment lights up.

Don^t_Bother_Standing

_You know what I just realized? The Brit I know is an Aussie._

**Author's Note:**

> Alrighty, can you guess whose POV this is?? I made it pretty easy! :)


End file.
